How you communicate can make or break the boardroom

The world – and how we behave within it – has changed over the past couple of decades, shaped by the evolution of technology, digital media and social movements redefining the rights and wrongs of what we can and can’t say – and for good reason. 

This means social boundaries are clearer – the message filtering into organisations enabling boards to strategically carve out inclusive and safe environments that enhance group dynamics. 

But if we home in on the factors that influence interactions in a group or board setting, where does language come into play? 

Dr Meredith Marra, Professor of Linguistics at the University of Canterbury, has been researching how language functions in group dynamics through ‘Language in the Workplace’ – a project founded by Emeritus Professor Janet Holmes at Victoria University in 1996 which continues today with Marra as Director.

Through audio and video recordings, Marra and the team (including Holmes and Dr Bernadette Vine) examine small talk, humour, miscommunication, the types of language used in meetings and management interactions – and the gender and cultural issues at play. 

Initially, research took place in government departments, then expanded into building and construction sites, factory floors, publishing companies, elder care facilities, and more. The findings offer an insight into how different settings inform interactions and vice versa – insights that are also applicable to boards. 

According to Marra, one strong consistency shows that flexible communicators are the most effective – they can adapt depending on the circumstance. 

“If they’re in a situation where everybody’s being very direct with each other, they’re very direct . . . when relational aspects are more important, they switch to more relational aspects of talk and they do that depending on what they want to achieve, who they’re interacting with and how the group is changing.”

For those in leadership and board roles, this provides a basis for navigating group dynamics. Flexible communicators also pay close attention to the ebb and flow of the group. This is not only important for leaders, however, and Marra says everyone plays a role in co-constructing language within any group setting.

Another finding was that effective group dynamics and connection are also built through small talk, which she says is fundamental to much of our interactions in New Zealand. While seen as ‘peripheral’ and feminised, Marra says a lack of small talk is highly noticeable when it’s not present. 

The art of small talk is highly valued in New Zealand and helps to build connection and set the scene for important conversations, whether applied through humour, storytelling or otherwise. As part of the ‘relational practice’, it also saves time later and thereby helps workplaces achieve their transactional goals, according to Marra. 

“It's about the kind of relationships we have with each other. I remember being in Denmark and being asked how I got access to workplaces. I said, ‘We all know each other’. They looked at me because their population was almost the same and they didn’t know each other.”

Marra says small talk derives from our informality, rather than our size – but it can also create an obstacle. Those from other cultures who aren’t accustomed to it, may not necessarily understand it; skilled migrants are among those who she says may not be aware of the social importance. 

“Most of the time it’s below our level of consciousness, so when somebody asks, ‘How are you?’ we know how much information to give back, but that’s often culturally dependent.

“One of my favorite examples is two quite senior men – one was new to the organisation and they were having their weekly catch-up. The new member just started talking and his colleague went, ‘What happened to the small talk?’ because it was just too abrupt. Then they did a little tease about, ‘I love what you’re doing with your hair.” 

Establishing connections through small talk plays a key role, including in business settings. 

One surprising area where Marra had expected to see growth was a shift in expectations around women having a place at the table and space to talk as equal participants. That was 20 years ago, when women began appearing more visibly in positions of power, and Marra had hoped this signalled change – that “feminised ways of doing things are going to be normalised”. 

“In those days, we were giving people advice that if you get a turn to talk, name another woman in the room so they can speak next.”

The obstacles at play are persistent stereotypes that continue to create a barrier. She says when a woman speaks it becomes magnified, and the perception holds that “they’re obviously taking up too much space”. 

When a man speaks, however, it is seen as normal. Marra believes this is not just about gender, but more related to the practices considered unimportant and often associated with women. 

“Practices such as small talk are often the type of talk we see as unimportant or off topic, but it’s not. It’s the same with cultural norms that we don’t understand – Pākehā rules dominate,” she says. 

Taking turns without any space between speakers is also a Western/Pākehā way of doing things, yet in a Māori context is perceived as constant interruption, which doesn’t allow anyone else to talk. 

“The same is true of ‘nobody talks when you’re talking’, which is a Pākehā expectation. That’s not the same as the Māori idea of audible feedback – when people speak (quietly) at the same time as you, it means they’re engaged,” says Marra, adding this is also true of other cultures, too. 

“It actually shows everybody’s on the same page, so we’re still experiencing the dominance of masculine ways of behaving, often based on Pākehā norms.”

So, what needs to change?  Marra believes there needs to be a move away from doing what’s always been done, which can reinforce inefficiency. While styles of communication are fluid, to fast-track effective communication, she recommends small talk, self-awareness and reading the room will help you navigate different environments and “get stuff done”. 

“When people feel like they’re part of the group and achieving their goals, communication becomes more effective. You talk in a way for what needs to be achieved,” Marra says.